About a BOB (Baby On Board)  

Dear B.O.B. Blog Readers,

    It’s been a while since my last posting and some are probably wondering why they could not access the BOB blog. On Saturday February 7, 2009, I experienced unexpected complications with my pregnancy. 

After not sleeping much the night before and feeling awful most of the morning, Joe convinced me to contact labor and delivery.  My lower back hurt and it felt like someone was squeezing my belly.  This was constant, so I did not think I was having contractions and honestly, not having ever been pregnant, I was not sure if this was “normal” pregnancy pains and I was just being a “wimp” or something "abnormal".  I spoke to the resident on-call, who was very pleasant and kind. She did not think I was in early labor based on my description of what I was feeling but thought I should come in and be checked out anyway.

By the time I got dressed and we got to Geisinger (we live about 15 minutes away), I knew something was wrong.  I was in so much pain, a different kind of pain that I could barely walk into the hospital.  The nurse put me in a triage room and from there things get blurry for me.  They asked when I felt the baby move last, which was throughout the night. They looked concerned but I wasn’t because BOB never moved consistently. They hooked me up to monitors and found that my blood pressure was through the roof!  Initially, the diagnosis was preeclampsia.  I was started on medication to help prevent seizures and bring down my blood pressure.  As they continued to exam me, they checked for BOB’s heartbeat but could not find it.  I looked at Joe, who had been looking at the ultrasound monitor the entire time and tears were running down his face.  I knew in my heart what the doctor was about to tell us; our baby had died.  I could not process the information. Many reasons; I was experiencing delirium from the pain and medications I was on and denial.  I did not want to believe it! 

From here, things got worse for me (and Joe and my family for that matter).  I know, I know, what could be worse then losing your infant?

The treatment for preeclampsia is to deliver the baby.  I was given an epidural to assist with a vaginal delivery, however, my medical condition quickly started to deteriorate and the doctors were growing more concerned for my life.

My doctors consulted with Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) and determined I had H.E.L.L.P (hemolysis, elevated liver enzymes, low platelets) syndrome.  This is life threatening for the mother.  The team of doctors decided that I needed to go for a c-section, as inducing labor could take hours or days and my condition was getting worse.   They prepped me for a c-section and unfortunately, Joe was not able to be with me as they could not use my epidural and I needed to have general anesthesia.

At 30 weeks, on 02/07/09, 7:46 P.M., Dante Nicholas was born.  He weighted 2lbs 3oz and was 14 inches long.  After I returned from the recovery room, Joe and I got to hold our baby boy.  He was perfect.  He looked just like Joe with a full head of curly, dark hair. He was beautiful.  Family members who wanted to hold him also got the chance before we said good-bye.

I have been home about 2 weeks now and things are getting a little easier, physically.  I still think of Dante and miss him everyday!  He entered our lives silently but left an imprint in our hearts. It’s funny how you can love someone so much that you never got to talk to or spend time with but I have learned that the bond between parents and their children is unbreakable.  He will never be forgotten.  Dante will always be our first son. We will always love him and we will forever be his Mommy and Daddy.

Joe and I have received an outpouring of support from our family, friends and the community and that has helped to ease the pain.  The staff at Geisinger (Drs Sarria and Pillus, Christina Appleman, Nurses: Yvonne, Susan, Barb, Sue, Kate) were by far, the most professional and personable we could have asked for.  The expertise, sensitivity, compassion and care we received from everyone there was extraordinary.  If you are contemplating where to go for pre-natal care or where to give birth, I would 100% recommend Geisinger Medical Center.

I would like to say thank you to those who have taken this journey with me; reading my postings, giving feedback and providing words of wisdom. Blogging about my pregnancy, despite the tragic outcome, has truly been a gratifying experience.

Sincerely,

Stephanie

No, I am not referring to something kinky or even something I did while on spring break.  I am talking about hot flashes.  I know, I know, I thought I had until I hit menopause to experience them. WRONG!

I start sweating out of the blue.  It is quite embarrassing.  There is no hiding it.  I get VERY flushed on my face, neck and chest.  Of course, it tends to happen while I am seeing a patient or in a meeting.  Usually someone asks “are you okay?”.  While this is kind, how do you tell someone that you sweating like a sinner in church and are afraid your armpits and/or underwear are soaked??? Yeah, you don’t, so I usually just say, “oh I’m just warm.”  But warm does not begin to describe it.  I am HOT! 

After the incident, I find myself running back to my office to inspect my armpits (and other areas) for sweat stains and to apply my 5^th layer of deodorant for the day!  I am also completely paranoid of smelling like an onion (really strong b.o. smells like onions or a bad hoagie in my opinion).

I have gotten smart, though. I now dress in layers.  Bonus for me, summer and spring maternity tops are on major clearance and I have enough cardigans in my closet to mix and match.  This however, is about the only “bonus”. 

I have always had a tendency of getting red and blotchy when I was highly emotional (thanks mom) but couple that with the hot flashes and oh boy.  I look like a giant strawberry.  I am even freezing out my poor husband, who has his own layer of warmth (read fur, I mean hair)!